


Sorry . I didn’t fall out of love.

by Lorimarie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Argentina, M/M, Oisemi breakup, Post Timeskip, Sexual Themes, heart wants what it wants I guess, not moving on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-19 06:47:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 6,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29995473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lorimarie/pseuds/Lorimarie
Summary: Oikawa and Semi called if off years ago , but Oikawa never moved on.
Relationships: Kawanishi Taichi/Semi Eita, Oikawa Tooru/Semi Eita
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

It was a mistake , a terrible one.

Oikawa never was the best judge of character when completely shit faced but then again who was? Anyone who said they were was lying. So when he woke up in someone else’s bed he groaned he wasn’t in a relationship but that didn’t mean his heart felt okay with this. He took a look at last nights conquest and nearly died from the sight . It wasn’t that the person was ugly no she was actually rather beautiful the issue lied with why he found the woman so appealing. She strongly resembled the one who he actually loved , she had his same ashy blonde hair and nicely shaped brows . She had his pale skin and though he couldn’t see her eyes at the moment he knew they were the same grey blue eyes he had thats at least one thing Oikawa can recall form last night . It was uncanny the more he looked at her he just saw him , the only difference was the obvious gender. She was certainly a beautiful person but she wasn’t Semi and the more Oikawa looked at her the more he longed for the real thing. 

Being away in another country was hard , being away from his boyfriend well make it ex boyfriend was harder. He didn’t want to call it off but Semi didn’t know how to make it work. He said it was better this way that way they didn’t hold each other back.

But what if Semi was he one who pushed him forward ? Perhaps the blonde didn’t consider that. 

He got out of the bed slowly not to wake the sleeping women next to him , he felt like a scumbag maybe he should leave a note ? That seemed tacky what was he going to say anyways ?

 _sorry I dont remember everything that happened last night but have a good day?  
  
  
_He was better off not saying anything at all.He found his clothes scattered on the floor and dressed himself tiptoeing his way to the door when he was in the clear he sighed in relief .

The walk home felt shameful and lonely painfully so , he wanted to call Semi and tell him he still wanted him but he didn’t know if he had that right anymore . Semi had very much moved on with a Kawanishi Taichi the two were even living together now and Semi seemed happy.

If he remembers correctly Kawanishi was a quite, lanky and rather aloof guy. He didn’t stand out among his teammates and seemed very indifferent . Oikawa could have never imagined he would be Semis type.

He tells himself its just his looks that Semi likes because well Kawanishi is a good looking guy Oikawa can’t deny that. Yet he knows Semi isn’t so vain to be with someone purely for their looks.

Right?

Either way , facts were facts and Semi was with Kawanishi now.   
  
It hurt , every time Semi posted a picture or tweeted something particularly sappy about his newfound relationship Oikawa felt ridiculously envious and sick. 

Ahh. He remembers . That’s how he got here now. Last night Kawanishi: not semi posted a picture of the couple sharing a kiss , with a engagement ring right on his finger and an explanation quoted _“He said yes ”._

Kawanishi apparently asked Semi to marry him and Semi accepted meaning they were official in every sense. It’s what lead Oikawa to that bar last night and how one drink turned into ten drinks and 2 shots. That’s how he meet his “ friend “ and how he ended up hooking up .   
  
He definitely is an ass but remembering the news makes him feel like he needs another drink . He manages to restrain himself and walk himself home, he dosent even have practice or training to look forward too because his coach is making him take a break so now he has to much time on his hand and a lovely apartment.  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Semi stared down at the silver band around his finger , on top was a beautiful diamond. It must have cost an arm and leg it was a stunning sight , Kawanishi really went full out for him. Its more then Semi felt he deserved to be honest. He truly felt blessed to have landed Taich. He was a perfect lover , patient and easy going. Surprisingly affectionate and gentle. He felt loved and cared for and honestly he was the luckiest guy in the world to have him. Yet the minute he said yes something felt different. 

He couldn’t help but feel anxious and strangely frantic. It’s been a few years now and he was sure he moved on. He rarely thought of Oikawa anymore and didn’t cry for him anymore like he did the first few months after the breakup. He started dating Kawanishi and with time he was positive he was over Oikawa Tooru. So it made no sense why he couldn’t stop thing about the argentine setter. 

He wondered what he was doing constantly these days , was he waking up with the same bed head he always had? Was he sleeping okay? Did he have a lot of new friends he hanged out with everyday when not training? Was he with anyone now, if so who and did he love them . Selfishly he hoped the answer was a big fat no.

Even more selfishly he couldn’t stop himself form thinking he still wanted him. Still loved him. These days he finds himself having to pull away from Kawanishi’s loving embrace because it feels wrong knowing he’s thinking of someone else. He dreads the days as they go by , he loves Kawanishi but he feels a pain in his chest because once they’re married that means that’s it for him and Oikawa. A part of him tells himself to run away now and the other tells him it’s to late he can’t hurt Kawanishi like this. He didn’t do anything to deserve that. He finds himself thinking about his days in high school sneaking out of campus to meet up with Oikawa , he remembers all the times Oikawa would have to jump the ridiculously tall Shiratorizawa gates just to have a movie date in Semis room. He remembers summer vacations where they spent practically every day together regardless of what they were doing , usually long hikes or training sessions that just turned into make out sessions. He remembers their first kiss which was the right amount of romantic and sorta awkward. He remembers his first time in the backseat of the broke down van parked behind Oikawa’s house that no ever touched . He remembers the details of that night the way Oikawa made him feel with his soft words and his caring touches. Semi doesn’t think he ever felt like that before with anyone else not even Kawanishi. Being with Oikawa was like a summer of heart racing adventure. Semi feels torn , and it’s starting to eat him up inside and Kawanishi is starting to notice something is off.   
  


“ _Eita what’s wrong , your not yourself “_

Semi knows he should just be honest , but he doesn’t want to ruin everything he has built with Kawanishi for his ex who seems like a stranger to him now. Who’s to say Oikawa even feels that way anymore anyways ?

  
 _” I’m fine Taichi “._ Semi lies .  
He tells himself he won’t think about Oikawa anymore . 

That was another lie though.


	3. Chapter 3

The wedding was six months away now , Oikawa still had a fair amount of time to go back home and confess to Eita. Maybe he could win him back somehow . Maybe. 

He asked Iwaizumi for advice and the former ace told him to go for it.  
Sugawara said the same thing along with the rest of his former Aboba johsai teamates.

He took some time to debate it, eventually he came to the conclusion that the worst thing that can happen is being flat out rejected. He’s dealt with that before.   
He calls Iwaizumi to pick him up at the airport tomorrow night as he books his flight.  
He packs quickly and rushes to the airport he tells his coaches and trainers it’s a family emergency (it’s not really) and that he won’t be there the next few days.   
He’s nervous on the flight there , he finds himself lucky enough to not be to recognized by anyone and lands in Japan at midnight .Iwaizumi is there waiting of course. 

“ you don’t mind if I stay with you by the way ,right ?”  
Oikawa asks in the car ride. Realizing he didn’t book a hotel and his parents live in Miyagi not Tokyo.  
“ Well duh I assumed that was the plan anyways “

“ Your the best “.

“ So do you know what your going to say or what ?”  
Iwaizumi asks.

“ Uh... was I supposed to write it down before hand ? I was just gonna wing it “

“ I mean ... I don’t know if winging it... with words at least is your strongest quality” .

“ Dont worry I won’t mess it up, I can’t afford to “


	4. Chapter 4

“ Are you really gonna marry him?” Kita asks softly he came over for lunch , Kawanishi was at work so they were alone to talk honestly with one another.

Semi grew up close with Kita so he told him practically everything. In return Kita did the same .

” I - have too don’t I ? I said yes afterall “ Semi says carefully .

” No you don’t have to do anything, you should marry someone you truly love . Or that’s what my grandma tells me” Kita says pulling the tea off the kettle refilling their cups.

” I mean ..she’s right but I don’t know what I want “ 

“ I think you do know ,your just afraid to admit it but you have to be honest with yourself .”   
Semi rolls his eyes because Kita knows ,that he knows ,that he’s right .

” He’s all the way in Argentina it's been near six years since we actually talked. Tooru has moved on... I can’t throw everything away with Taichi for that”

Kita nods his head , he looks disappointed and Semi can understand why. It’s cowardly of him to settle for this but he doesn’t want to hurt anyone especially Taichi.   
  


“ Regardless of your decision it’s not my place to tell you what to do so I support you but I hope you consider your feelings more “ Kita says maturely as ever . Semi smiles and feels lucky to have a friend like Kita. 

He knows Kita will always tell him how it is and he’s left to think about what he told him. 

He considers reaching out to Oikawa , not to get him back but to catch up and see if being near him again feels the same way.   
He looks at his phone and reaches for it , he thinks he can just ask Sugawara for Oikawa’s new number but is surprised to see a text form said grey haired friend.

It read:

_Guess who’s back in town ?_


	5. Chapter 5

“ So looks like everyone knows your back in town , I’m sure Semi knows then too so no grand surprise or whatever you had in mind “  
Iwaizumi says causally scrolling through his Twitter feed before rolling his eye and tossing the phone to land gently on the pillow . Social media still annoyed him. 

“ Well ... whatever it would have been lame anyways “ Oikawa says with a sigh he’s being pacing back and forth. Trying to build the courage to go see Semi.

“ just man up already and go confess your love Romeo “

“ it’s intimidating Iwa I haven’t seen him in person for six years ! “

“ I just saw him at Ushiwakas house party he looks the same as always there’s nothing to worry about “

“ You don’t get it I don’t want to embarrass myself “

“ You do that by existing don’t worry about it “  
iwaizumi laughs slapping his knee in the process . Oikawa cringes because his best friend is starting to act like his dad more and more . They’re not even that old yet.

“ ...thanks for that, I just want this to workout I don’t think I can handle seeing him get married to someone else specially that guy I don’t understand how they ended up together still”

“ Weird right ? I always thought they seemed funny together ...but I’m biased as hell though. Anyways the point is don’t get scared now whatever happens is how it should be “

“ yeah I suppose your right “ Oikawa sighs heavily and runs his hand in his hair “ .....do I just pull up to his house ? What if Kawanishi is there ? Is he aggressive do you think I can take him?” 

“ I think you can I don’t see him as a fighter “ Iwaizumi says honestly.” being said don’t fight him moron I’m sure that won’t get you any makes with Semi”

“ True so what do I call him?”

“ Yeah like a normal person would do” 

“ His number is the same yea ?” 

The former aces nods and Oikawa steps out the room to make a phone call.


	6. Chapter 6

Semi received a phone call , he didn’t recognize the number but he was hopeful.   
He answered with a mellow “ Hello ?”

“E- Semi...! “ Oikawa corrected himself. He hasn’t said the nickname E-Chan in so long it somehow felt wrong to say now. 

“ Oikawa “ Semi takes a deep breath. He hasn’t heard that voice in so long . It’s nostalgic and he misses it and him. “ How are you?”

“ Good , Good “ Oikawa says giving himself a mental pep talk .   
“ how about you ?”

“Fine “ Semi fiddles with his fingers . He isn’t sure how to lead to conversation so he’s happy with letting Oikawa do it.

“ That's good! Uhh I’m calling cause im in town for awhile so let’s get some coffee and catch up sometime “  
Oikawa suggests .

“ You drink coffee now?” Semi askes with a chuckle.

“ No but you always used to like ... do you still?”

“ Yea ...I do.... okay when do you wanna meet?” Semi asks .

“ Oh whenever is fine with me ... what works best with your schedule?” 

“ Tomorrow at 8” Semi decides “ I have a place I’ve been wanting to go to should I send you the address?”

“ Yeah that works ...”

“ okay I’ll see you tomorrow then ?”

“ Yeah... I look forward to seeing you again “

“ Same here “ Semi says feeling his heart race . “ I’ve missed you “

“I’ve missed you too ... see you tomorrow Semi”

Why doesn’t he just call me Eita? Semi thinks but doesn’t say anything . He can’t complain because he says a “goodbye Oikawa”.   
He wants to call him Tooru again.  
Semi sends the address and nervously tries to pretend he isn’t freaking out , it was just a phone call and they’re just getting coffee. Nothing to panic over .  
Besides they’re just friends catching up nothing more , he tells himself it’s okay .

Kawanishi comes home later that night and Semi try’s to act normally. He thinks , no he knows he should tell him that he made plans to meet up with his ex boyfriend but he doesn’t want to cause a fight right now. Not to say Kawanishi was the type to get angry and try to control everything but it’s common sense most people wouldn’t like their fiancé to hang out with the guy who took them months and month to “get over”.

“ I’m getting coffee with Akaashi tomorrow “ he lies , he’ll ask Akaashi to cover for him besides he owes him for that time they stayed out following Bokuto around all day because Akaashi suspected him of cheating which is ridiculous because Bokuto would never . 

“ ahh okay “ Kawanishi says simply . “Hey I heard your ex is in town “

“‘which one?” It’s a stupid question Semi only really dated Oikawa . 

“ Oikawa “

“ oh I didn’t hear about that... that’s cool I guess “ Semi try’s to act like he didn’t care and it seems like enough to convince Kawanishi who only nods .   
Semi finds an excuse to keep to himself that night he doesn’t dislike Kawanishis affection but these days receiving it didn’t feel right .   
He tells him he’s just not in the mood and turns onto his side and try’s to fall asleep .


	7. Chapter 7

The coffee shop Semi choose was nice , cute even . Oikawa was the first to arrive. He took the liberty of ordering when semi texted that he was only a few minutes away. He remembers his order by heart and hopes it’s not over stepping in some way.

He got himself hot chocolate and waits nervously tapping the lid repeatedly. He can’t believe he’s finally going to see Semi face to face again after so long. 

Hes to involved in his thoughts to notice when the door opens again and someone is taking a seat in the chair infront of him. Oikawa looks up and he’s left breathless.

Semi makes an apology that he’s late ,as he takes off his jacket. Oikawa is staring because after all this time Semi is just as attractive as he’s always been if not more so.  
His hair longer and looks slightly curly and his lean figure is still as tempting as always . His eyes are still that same intense blue grey color and his nervous smile is absolutely beautiful.

“ Its fine I haven’t been waiting long” Oikawa barley manages to speak. “ oh I order for you already hope it’s ok”.

Semi nods “ Its fine and thank you “ he brushes some hair behind his ears as there’s a moment of silence. Oikawa is as handsome and irresistible as he was before and now he’s even more built and has an attractive tan that makes Semi feel weak. 

The two wonder what they should say , they both start to speak at the same time .

“ sorry you first “ Oikawa says 

“No you “

Oikawa smiles and says “ I was just going to say it’s been awhile but you still look ...good” Oikawa wanted to say more but he didn’t know if it’s appropriate to say beautiful. 

“ oh thank you ... you too “

“ How’s is everything... what are you up to these days?”

“ Uh just working most days ... I went into social work after-all but I still play with the band so nothing much... how’s playing for Argentina though “

“ It’s good I love it ... my teammates are great and the country is beautiful “Oikawa explains honestly he means it he loved his new home . There’s just something he misses more.

“ That’s good so you made the right decision then ... I’m happy for you really I always knew you could do anything” semi says it with a sincere tone but Oikawa can’t help but feel there’s a hint of something else there.   
He seems sad but maybe he’s over thinking it. 

“ Oh yeah don’t get me wrong though I miss Japan and everyone like crazy ...it’s very nostalgic being back “

“ Yeah that makes sense ... have you seen your parents yet since coming back?”

“ No I’ll make a trip soon though...”

“ tell them I said hi, I hope they’re well they were always so kind to me “ 

Oikawa laughs abit , that’s because his parents always wanted him to be with Semi long term and when he told them about the break they seemed upset about it. Needless to say that liked Semi .   
“ Yeah well they adored you ... I let them know I’m sure they’re he happy to hear ... how’s your parents ?”

“ Good ... they still ask about you time to time “  
Semis parents had always liked Oikawa too . Infact they were most surprised when they heard about the breakup. 

“ That’s nice ... I miss them specially your moms cooking”  
Oikawa jokes . 

“ I’m sure she’ll be flattered to hear that “ Semi laughs abit and finds himself getting more relaxed . It’s just Oikawa afterall and he’s seemed the same as before .

They become more comfortable as the time goes on, their conversation is just filled of stories of what they’ve been up to the last few years and shared laughs .   
They’re both in the same boat , they’ve missed this just being able to look the other in the face and have a conversation and make the other laugh. 

Semi hates to admit but Oikawa is charming as ever. He feels himself remembering every little reason why he fell for the brunette in the first place.  
He still hasn’t even told Oikawa about his engagement yet. 

Oikawa brings the perfect opportunity for Semi to mention it when he asks “ Are you still dating Kawanishi?”

“ yea ...I - actually we’re engaged now” Semi says slowly .

“ Oh I see “ Oikawa doesn’t know why he’s playing it dumb but he is.  
“ Congratulations ....he’s a very lucky guy “

“ Heh...right” Semi blushes . Oikawa can’t just say things like that it’s no fair.   
“ I think I’m the lucky one” 

Oikawa manages not to roll his eyes . “ When’s the wedding?”

“ In about 6 months , it’s going to be In Miyagi nothing big though”

“ ... That’s nice ... I bet your parents are happy”

“‘yeah “ Semi thinks they are ,though they seem hesitant to be honest about what they really think.   
“ I mean I think so at least “

“Oh”

“ I-it’s not like that ! I mean they love Taichi really they get along great ! it’s just ya know how they are ... they’re all about that soulmate stuff and marrying the right person “ Semi explains frantically.

“ so...they don’t think he’s the right guy?” Oikawa asks.

“... I don’t know ?” Semi admits and sighs softly .

“ Sorry I shouldn’t have-“

“ It’s fine . It’s just the truth afterall and we’re friends ...right?”

Oikawa blinks . He doesn't really know the answer himself . Semi would never just be a friend to Oikawa he feels to strongly about him.   
“ Are we? Most friends talk at least talk every few years “

“....”

Oikawa sighs because there he goes saying something stupid .  
“ I’m sorry I didn’t say that “

“No your right .. I’m sorry .. I wish we didn’t get like this, why didn’t we keep talking ?”

“ I ask myself that a lot ...I’ve missed you”

“ I’ve missed you too “ the blonde says softly he looks away because if he looks at Oikawa to long he thinks he may start crying . “ So much “ he whispers.

“ Semi...are you doing anything today ?”

“ No...”

“ can I take you somewhere then?”

Semi didn’t take long to consider it.  
“ Ok”


	8. Chapter 8

When Semi agreed to come out he didn’t expect Oikawa to take him all the way to the hiking trials. 

“A hike ? Really ?now?”

“ Oh come on you loved hiking before you were always down “ Oikawa explains with a laugh. “ come on I heard the view is worth it”

Semi sighs, it’s true he did love hikes it was just unexpected but so be it. “ Fine, fine whatever you better make it entertaining though “

“Don’t I always?” 

He did make it entertaining. Maybe to much so, because halfway up the two are bickering back and fourth like they used to before . Oikawa is going on about the different between a llama and a Alpaca .

“ No llamas are the bigger one trust I know “ 

“ I’m pretty sure it an alpaca but go off I guess “

“Semi you don’t even know how to spell Alpaca “

Semi makes a face and nudges the brunette away  
“you’re still irritating as hell “

“ your still stubborn as hell “ Oikawa shoots back.  
It’s true.

By the time the two reach the summit the view was mediocre at best . “ That’s it? Well this is sorta lame “ Oikawa sighs disappointedly. Semi giggles “ what did you expect a magical waterfall “

“If that attitude no “ Oikawa sighs and finds a nice place to sit , the sunset will start soon and they might as well enjoy it. Oikawa pats the spot next to him gesturing for semi to come.   
“ Sit with me “

Semi obliged.

“ Thanks for coming with me today anyways ... I had fun catching up even if there’s no waterfall “

“ thanks for inviting me .. I had fun” semi says he’s looking down trying to hide the fact he’s flustered.   
“ Today felt like old times “

“ yeah ... I miss those times “. Oikawa admits .

“ ...me too “.

“ Actually?” 

“ Yeah actually “

Oikawa smiles abit. He thinks maybe it’s time to confess . That’s why he came back here anyways right? He feels his heart race as he turns to look at Semi. He sees the blush on Semis face and the way he try’s to hide it , he’s so cute and Oikawa wants to kiss him right now.   
“ Can I ask you something?”

“ Sure .. what is it ?” semi looks up to meet Oikawas longing gaze. 

“ Did you ever think about what would have happened if we didn’t break up?” 

Semi takes a minute to answer . He feels something between them still and he’s pretty sure they’re thinking similar things. “ I have , I still do “

“ Same here “

There a moment of silence.   
Oikawa takes in a deep breath “ I have to be honest. I already knew you were engaged . “

“ Oh?” 

“ Yeah... it’s actually why I came back ... “ Oikawa bites his lips before finally finding the courage he needs . “ I came back because I needed to tell you that I’m still in love with you before it was to late . I know its been six years but I haven’t once stopped thinking about you and believe me I’ve tried ”

Semi feels a mix of emotions ranging form relief and joy to fear.   
“... you mean it?”

“Yeah... I’m sorry if this isn’t what you want to hear but I had to say it at least once more”

“.... you... idiot “ Semi chokes out. There’s tears in his eyes as he grabs the collar of Oikawa jacket and pulls him into a kiss . He been wanting to kiss him all day and after that he can’t hold it back anymore.   
The kiss feels strangely familiar yet new , it makes him feel like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest and he can’t hold back the sob when Oikawa cuffs his cheeks gently and kissed him back with just as much desire and care.  
When they do part they’re just staring into each other’s eyes Semi is still crying and Oikawa is gently wiping the tears with his thumb it doesn’t take long for Semi to whisper “ I still love you too ”.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heads up there’s some porn in this chapter.

Semi didn’t expect this to lead here, but it did. The next thing he knew was being pinned down to the bed with his hands above his head . Panting softly beneath Oikawa who carefully bit and sucked on Semis neck . It felt like his body was on fire , he felt his legs shake with anticipation.

“ _Tooru_ ” Semi moaned , finally hearing that name again form semis lips especially in that tone was music to the brunettes ears . He wanted Semi again so bad he didn’t know if he could hold himself back from fucking him so hard into the mattress leaving him a moaning mess who only knew Oikawas name. He certainly try though. 

Oikawas thought about this for the last few years probably more then what was healthy.  
  
“‘ _Eita I’ve missed this , you have no idea how long I’ve been thinking about this “_

the way Oikawa had whispered into his ears sent a shiver right down Semis spine . He bites his lip and spreads his legs wider to encourage Oikawa to continue.   
Semi feels his heart race , it’s a strange feeling of anticipation and nervousness . He can only feel like this when he’s with Oikawa and Semi feels rather desperate to get the full thing 

Oikawa takes pride in the way Semi moans and twitches when he spreads him out with three fingers and relishes in the way he gasps when he pinches his nipple and nudges Semis legs further apart .

_“ You look so good like this , I can’t wait to be inside of you again”_

Semi feels his insides tighten form those electrifying words and he’s begging for more .

” _tooru please hurry I can’t wait anymore “_

Oikawa makes a satisfied smirk , Semis never been very patient for him.

Semi watches as Oikawa slips on the condom and steadies himself between Semis thighs . He lifts his hips and carefully uses the new position to slip inside of him . He mutes Semis moans with a kiss because Iwaizumi is home sleeping and he doesn’t want to risk waking him up and hearing a mouthful later.   
  
“Sorry angel, Iwai is home you can’t be so loud “ he reminds Semi who makes a weak apology and places a hand over his mouth to keep him quite as he starts to thrust into him.   
The thrusts start off slow and get faster and more powerful making it rather hard for Semi to keep his sounds to a minimum. The whimpers that leave his mouth though are enough to encourage the brunette . 

Oikawa can recognize when Semi is close because there’s that hazy look in his eyes and his face looks lewd , watching Semi ride out his orgasm is enough to set off his own and he kisses Semi again while deep inside . They’re all sweaty and exhausted and completely satisfied as they lay side by side catching their breaths .   
  
“ that was ... really good “ Semi pants out and Oikawa chuckles “ ah, Not super duper good?”

Semi rolls his eyes and turns to rest his head on the brunettes steady and firm chest .   
“ yea ... it was “

They lay together for awhile just enjoying the feeling of being close . Oikawa knows it’s bad timing to ask but he needs to know .  
  


” do you love him ?”

semi takes ahwile to answer .   
“ I do but he’s but he’s not you”

Oikawa feels good with that answer hes not sure what this means right now or what they do next so he’ll just enjoy the moment .   
  



	10. Chapter 10

Semi sneaks inside way past the time he said he’ll be home and the time Kawanishi was off work.  
His fiancé left several messages asking where he was and they all went ignored . Semi doesn't even know how to answer when Kawanishi who was home waiting all night asks “ where have you been Eita?”

“ Oh like I said coffee with Akaashi “

“A coffee break took you all day?”

Semi gulps “ well we went shopping afterwards”

“ What did you buy “

“ We went window shopping “

Kawanishi sighs and nods his head ,he rubs his forehead seeming annoyed and frustrated. “ Eita I know you’re lying now just tell me the truth already , you’ve been distant for awhile now you barely let me touch you and now your coming home in the middle of the night with lame excuses. What’s going on?”

Semi doesn’t know what to say the shame is strong but he doesn’t regret being with Oikawa today the one thing he does regret was betraying Kawanishi. He can’t keep lying anymore .  
“ Taichi ... I’m so sorry .. I - I was with Tooru tonight “

“ Your ex ?”

“Yes”

Kawanishi doesn’t look as surprised as one would expect. In truth he always thought Semi still loved his former lover and for all these years what’s he felt maybe he was just second best. “ I see ...did you sleep with him?”

“ .... I did “

“ your still in love with him aren’t you ?” Kawanishi asks , he was hesitant because he doesn’t want to hear the truth .

“ .... Taichi I’m so sorry I love you I do it’s just .. I don’t know I’ve been thinking about him and then he comes back and I ..”

“ Just answer the question, do you still love him?”

“ Yes “ Semi admits timidly.  
“ but I love you to I really do - you mean so much to me”

The thing is Kawanishi legitimately believes Semi. He can’t find in himself to get mad and yell like most people would . He knows Semi didn’t do this to hurt him and it’s probably his own fault he never thought he had a chance against Oikawa tooru to begin with.  
“ What do you want ?”

“ w-what?” Semi asks crying .

“ I asked what do you want , me or him . Be honest with yourself and us “ 

“ I don’t know ...”

“You do ...”

Semi nods “ I - I don’t - no I can’t I don’t want to leave you “

“ Your lying to yourself Eita ... but I know it’s because you don’t want to hurt me ...” Kawanishi takes steps towards Semi and hugs him tightly “ thank you for caring about me but I love you to much to keep you to myself “

“ I’m sorry ... I’m so sorry Taichi “

“ it’s okay.You were never really mine to begin with Eita”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry Kawanishi I love you :,)


	11. Chapter 11

Oikawa had messaged Semi asking if everything was okay , he hadn’t heard from him the last two days and he’s worried he might have crossed the line.

Wait there was no “ might have “ they both definitely crossed the line. They didn’t just cross it though, they ran miles past it . The line is out of sight at this point .

Oikawa worries that Semi regrets what they did , and regrets getting back in touch .  
Semi would have every right to regret such a thing ,after all he was engaged to someone else.

He bites his lips , he can’t stay much longer he needs to get back home he’s missed hours of practice and has responsibilities there. 

He loses hope when Semi doesn’t reply and Oikawa takes it as his loss , Kawanishi must have won and Semi is choosing him . It’s okay though because all that matters is Semi and that he’s happy. Oikawa tried his best and now he just has to learn to live with Semi’s decision. He tells himself at least he had Semi one more time and knew what it was like to ever love him to begin with .

Right when he thinks it’s time to book flight home there’s a knock at the door, Iwaizumi isn’t home but he was expecting a package that he told Oikawa to look out for expecting a delivery man he opens the door .

It’s not a delivery man but something worlds better , it’s Semi .

“ Tooru “

“ Eita...”

“ I’m sorry I didn’t reply I wasn’t ignoring you “ semi starts .

“ it’s okay Eita you don’t owe me an explanation “ the brunette offers a soft gentle smile . 

“ I want to give it anyway “

“Okay”

“ I told Taichi about what happened ...more importantly I told him the truth on how I feel about you ... we had a really long talk and that’s why I wasn’t answering I didn’t wanna make it seem like I didn’t care because you should know ...I do love him and I will always care about him “

Oikawa swallows and nods in understanding. He knew that much .   
“ I know , your not the type to just be with anyone let alone share your life with them” 

“ Right “ Semi brushes some hair behind his ear looking away for a second then back at Oikawa.  
“ I hate that I hurt him , he’s been the perfect partner to me and has helped me through so much . I never wanted to hurt him or betray him “

“ ...I'm...s-sorry “ Oikawa says softly . He can’t read the situation right now but this seems like a rejection.

“N-no don’t be ! It’s not your fault .. I made the decision and though I hate that it hurt him I don’t regret it and I don’t wanna take it back either .. “  
Semi takes in a deep breath and steps closer he reaches for Oikawas hand who meets him half way. 

“ I love him but I love you more , I know how ridiculously selfish it sounds but it’s the truth ... at the end of the day I never really stopped loving you and I’m so sorry I broke us apart I should have tried but back then I was just scared I would just prolonged the pain if I didn’t end it there and then... Im really an idiot “

Oikawa tries to hold back form smiling widely .  
“ Yeah well it’s not just on you.... I should have fought harder I shouldn’t have ever let you walk away so easily... and I shouldn’t have waited this long to man up and come find you again so I think we’re both technically selfish “

“ Yeah ... I guess “ Semi smiles and it’s the most beautiful thing Oikawa has ever seen. “ Do you think you could ever forgive me ?”

“ Only if you forgive me “ 

“ .... deal...” Semi laughs alittle and engulfs Oikawa in a hug which is immediately returned .

“ Wait what does this mean ?are you and him ..over?”  
Oikawa asks .

“ Yeah... I gave him the ring back .. we called the wedding off ... “ semi says softly burying his face into the crook of Oikawa neck. 

“ ... Are you ok?”

“ Yeah..I am , and I think he will be too... he deserves someone who will love him the most “

“ I think everyone deserves that .... does he hate me?”

“ No... he’s not the type to hold things like this against someone he said he just wants us to be happy and that he’ll always be my friend “

“ he’s a bigger man then me “ Oikawa jokes though it’s not actually a joke. He knows it’s a fact . “ Are you sure about this?”

“ ....For the first time , I am”

**Author's Note:**

> Tbh this was just a draft I needed out of my head but I had a whole little story for this made up.  
> Do you guys want a continuation?


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